अयोध्या

 

 

The honorable Supreme Court of India has now given the verdict on the much awaited Ayodhya Ram JanmBhumi case. And, as believed by millions of Hindus worldwide, the court has declared that the disputed site was indeed a Temple, destructing which another structure was erected and was called Babari Masjid.

This structure was again destroyed in Dec, 1992 in an attempt to reclaim the original Temple site.

Proceeding through the hierarchy of Indian judiciary, the case has been finally given a conclusion after 27 long years of countless hearings and apparent detailed study of history and geography by the personnel involved.

I don't intend to dissect this very sensitive topic/verdict. Although, it does bring lots of emotions and memories back. My heart and eyes can tell.

This topic strikes a personal chord with me as the very first memory that I can recall is the image of my father performing aarti(prayer with diya) wearing crisp white dhoti and later walking in khadau(wooden slippers) on an unpaved road. Another glimpse, I remember, is of a couple of monkeys running close to where we were setting up our bedding for the night and pulling the stop cork from our khaki air-pillow!

Maa tells me this place was Ayodhya, where my parents took me when I was around 2.5 years old!

Today as I turn another year older, I reflect on the happy moments of my life, the places I have visited and the influences that have shaped me as a person.

( I am sure all of us, at least once, have tried to recall the earliest clear memory from our life; haven't you?)

Naturally, one of my most treasured memories is the glimpse of this first travel/pilgrimage experience cum historic site visit.

Now, I am not a very religious person. Ritualistic, even less.

Still, today I lit a Diya not just for its aesthetics but also for the beautiful memories it connects me to.

 🙏🏼

पंख

नन्हे चूजे ने पंख फड़फड़ाये 

और फिर 

वो भी उड़ गया

                        घोंसलों में घर 

                        बन तो जाता है

                        बस नहीं पाता | 

15th August

Just felt like watching an Indian Flag Hoisting ceremony ...

Even though I am a self proclaimed - more patriotic than many, it always was a boring event for me back in the days.

I lived in a neighborhood where at least 4 schools(including mine of course) were within a distance of clear loudspeaker sound. I was always repelled by the high volumes, irrespective of the nicest melody being played.
Also, no matter how enthusiastically I practiced in bathroom, I would never think it was good enough for the stage and mic! So days like these mostly started with a negative undertone for me.

To my relief, the ceremonies used to be over by noon or so and we were home around lunchtime. Sure enough there was some Karma/Tiranga/Shaheed type movie running on DD. So the rest of the day was the real freedom and fun for the kids that we were :).

The best part was - four Boondi laddus in primary school to one tiger biscuit packet in secondary to snacks in college.

Never thought I would miss this but here I am!

Happy Independence Day :-).

Wanderer

When you cant solace

You distract

And distract more

When you cant bridge

You distance 

And distance more

When you stop believing 

You trust 

And trust more

The thing about these
Pauses...
Dilemmas...
Incompleteness...

Is ...

You wander
All  The  More.

पति

तुम्हारी भक्ति नहीं करती
क्योंकि तुम भगवान नहीं हो
प्यार करती हूँ
... पति हो

तुम पर श्रद्धा नही
तुम कोई संत तो नही
प्यार है
... पति हो

तुम्हारा आदर-सम्मान ?
मेरे उम्र-दराज़ अभिभावक हो ?
प्यार ...
... पति हो

पूजा क्यों करूं
परमेश्वर कब बने
हाँ प्यार करूंगी
... पति हो |




*I wrote this one few years back for one of those Karwachauth  and feminism discussions .
I feel this 'set up' of Karwachauth is regressive and patriarchal for those women who follow it under some social, religious or family pressure even if personally they have no interest in doing such things.
Although for ladies who love that bridal dress up once in a while, enjoy all the pampering they receive on this day and cherish the bond when their husbands also observe fast along with them, its a celebration!
Well, mine have been :).

Second

Second.

I'm not your first. You aren't mine either. 

My tailoring business gives me enough to lead my life with dignity and provide a future to my son. 

I've never really felt a need of another man after my husband's demise. 

However, I'm moved by your gesture of accepting my son as your own. 

My son has agreed to call you 'father' after you met and coddled him. 

I can't thank you enough for giving him the happiness that was long lost. 

You decided to marry even sooner after meeting me.

I want to tell you that it's a courageous step for me to trust life again. 

It must be a bold decision for you too. 

We are ready to take up this leap of faith called marriage, again.
We'll vow to complete each other's lives soon. 

I want to congratulate you for this new life and new beginning. 

I'm a person who picks happiness from little things in life. 

I promise, I'll make sure we put our best efforts to make it a happy 'Second'!

- (written by my kid sister, inspired by a widow remarriage)

This girl/lady is a neighbor from my hometown. Coming from what they call the 'poor and backward section' of the society, she was hardly educated and married off at a very young age. She had a son soon after. The husband was a good fellow. However, the in-laws disowned her and her infant son as soon as the husband died untimely.

We always had good terms with this family and our hearts went out for her when she returned to her parents' home and started taking menial tailoring work to raise her son. She persisted and the boy now studies in 9th std.

In those small cities of northern India, its still very difficult for a woman to resettle in her life after divorce or widowhood. Naturally, we felt delighted to hear the news of her remarriage after more than a decade of single-handed struggle.

How I want the society to change for the better!

WWW - when we write

The pen is mightier than the sword.

I heard the above line for the first time at an age of 9. My brother was giving a powerhouse performance in a Hindi debate. The topic was "कलम तलवार से बलवती है- The pen is mightier than the sword". He was speaking for it.
I was in awe; sitting among hundreds of people, in an exhibition ground in my hometown. I enjoyed all the applause and attention with pride when Bhai received the first prize but was all puzzled inside. Reason was- firstly, I didn't understand the topic and secondly, I didn't understand what all the participants, speaking for and against it, meant by their speech.
I, expecting a lot from myself, didn't even ask anybody; instead decided to learn on my own. Having no Google back then, it took me some time.
Belonging to कलम-fraternity, I hope I have a fair idea about that statement at least now :).

Coming to the topic, pen or words have always had great influence on the society. However, I don't see bloggers having much social responsibility. But then we should NOT be socially irresponsible as well. Bloggers do have certain humane responsibilities. You can decide not to write about a controversial topic because you are not socially responsible to do so but in case you decide to write, be sensible. Write what you want to but don't be mean to others just to support your thoughts or accentuate your personal agenda.

Since blogging is individual's personal interest/hobby, they are NOT bound to blog in a certain way or fall in line. Its their own choice and inclination what do they write about, when do they write and how much do they indulge into it. We cannot expect bloggers to do something(without feeling for it) owing to social responsibility.

The reason and objective behind blogging is to express yourself and opine about things you think about. There is a difference between blogging and journalism.
IMO, the responsibilities bloggers should have are very generic- be just, well-behaved and humane!

If you write about social evils eg dowry, write fairly. Do not spare even your husband if he didn't oppose it or your own parents if they ever asked for it. No hypocrisy.
If you write about religion, don't try to prove yours is the best. Don't write to demean others' religion as long as its practice doesn't harm anyone. Understand.
If you write about your luxurious life-style don't look down upon not-so-privileged ones through your writing. Grace.
If you write about individual, stick to the facts and your understanding of it. Don't malign (even unintentionally) other's image based on fake data or imaginary incidents. Respect.


#ResponsibleBlogging

Stay, Please.

Life exists well beyond a few things.


Suicide is the worst decision ever made especially by someone in prime youth with good health.They could do so many things which would have made their lives worthwhile for themselves and others.
Life is the most precious thing on the earth. You cannot buy it. So you better don't ruin it while you still have it.

A few months back, I was talking to a braveheart who was fighting with a terminal disease. He was a person extraordinaire inside out - academics, career, personality and heart! He was undergoing the treatment away from his family when the Doctors told him the treatment stopped working. He was frail but willing to live life and achieve so many more feathers in his ever shining cap. He told me one lady from social-service department of the hospital asked him during one of the daily visits-
"I understand you are aware of your condition. Its inexplicable how you must be feeling to be in a situation you cant do anything about except waiting for worse to happen. I am sorry to ask this but do you ever have any suicidal thoughts?"

He replied -" No. It didn't come across my mind until you mentioned it :)"
Yeah, that Man smiled when he said this to the lady, a month before the aggressive ailment overtook his will and hope to live.
This Man told me the above incident all smiling (despite of knowing what was approaching him)only 15 days before ......
I know this Man had had strength and courage of another level. Still, how difficult can it be to stay alive for possible better future than to surrender to temporary miseries?

There are people who retort when this being called a cowardice act - "Don't judge them, you don't know what the person was going through." 
True; but may be I know. May be I have been through similar trauma. May be I even took a few steps on that dark path and realized my strength and self worth before it was too late. I am able to say certain things today because may be, I have learnt a lesson myself.

There were a few suicide cases in media in the recent past - Jiah Khan, Rohit Vemula(not due to relationship but still suicide) and now Pratyusha Banerjee.

All I know, these people were young, educated, talented, physically well, may be mentally disturbed. Such 'state' does not and should not lead to ending a life which could have brought smiles to at least some faces or may be even to themselves in future!


I felt the same pain (more for their family) after every news of such suicides. But the latest one made me pen it down.

'Balika Vadhu': the only daily soap I watched.
After Avika Gaur, Pratyusha kept the TRP up by her performance as Anandi. She was beautiful and talented. The serial used to air on my just-reached-home-from-office time so I happened to watch it. I continued it partly because the remote control was in Mom's hand and partly because of the message of the serial. I hoped it would improve women's plight at least somewhere.
Pratyusha played a strong character and did full justice to it. Unfortunately she couldn't keep the same faith in herself in her real life. While Anandi stood strong after her husband's betrayal and ended up doing much better for herself and the society, Pratyusha just gave up! She was a good 'actress' but probably didn't share any connection with the theme of her debut and immensely popular role.

It sounds very typical of condolences that they should have thought about their parents, siblings and other loved ones before taking the extreme step. However, I know how it feels to lose someone so close and can only imagine how worse would it be coming from a suicide. Hence, I would still say this - they should have thought about people who loved them dearly. They probably eased their own phase-of-pain but left a wound for their family which would never ever heal.
What would add to this pain is the fact that the family knows you could have been saved if only you had talked your heart out to them! Isn't this a sheer selfish and cowardice act?

Pratyusha, I don't believe in a life after death but I just hope at least You were happy with your own decision when you took your last breath.

While you lived I loved your acting and wished to see more of your talent. I was disappointed when you decided to leave 'Balika Vadhu' despite of not having any better projects in hand. Little did I know that you would repeat...........for the worst this time.

Reality, Fiction.

I have been writing off and on since quite some time now but its only recently that I've started reading some random blogs and exploring the bloggers' communities. Since my area of interest is mostly limited to life, relationships, society, feminism etc, I read blogs only from a certain category of bloggers.

One thing I couldn't help but notice that almost all of them wrote the beauty of relationships within marriage, love and family. Only Society and Ex lovers traveled the other dimension of emotions - hatred, disappointment, struggle etc. And, I wondered are their lives so positive and pleasant that they never ever happened to experience, watch or even imagine that there could be another side to these writings?

I mean think of a couple hating each other to the core. There is nothing common between them except ego and stubbornness. Still at times, they tend to love each other in a way and for reasons that make them stay together willingly.

Or a child, who hated his parents all his life because they made him pursue their area of interest instead of his own. Parents who always focused on money even when it came to marrying someone he loved. Society & show off mattered to them more than their own children.

Also, having siblings who only expect favors from your side. They are selfish and take your struggle in life for granted. They don't care about your emotions regarding things and persons you love in your own life.

Isn't every family different? For example, I understand mothers are our goddesses. However, did we really never come across someone, a milder version of Indrani Mukherjee?
Cruel father, cunning friends or mean siblings, anyone?

Come on, we are not living in Satyug, are we? I so wish we were, but alas!

Then where are the other truths of life? Why only the gold plated, perfume dipped and sugar coated articles? Why is everybody trying to pretend good instead of being honest?

I accept my sample size is small but even then, even with/around those highly skilled personal-bloggers, is everything so pleasantly perfect?
Really??

खून

पत्थरों के डर से रुकना मत
फूल होते तब देते

राह रोकें तो डरना मत
हाथ होते तो साथ देते

नीचा दिखायेंगे पर झुकना मत
बड़े होते तो यूं ना गिरते

गलतियां थोपेंगे, बिखरना मत
सही होते गर खुद सच्चे होते

रस्मों-रिवाज़ों से दबायेंगे सहना मत
नियम मानते तो निष्पक्ष होते

तुम्हारी जि़न्दगी चलायेंगे सौंपना मत
यही हक़ होता तो फिर भगवान होते

साथ छोड़ देंगे तो गिरना मत
अपने होते तो हर दम होते।

तुम्हें दुख होगा
दर्द भी बहुत
पर जूझना.....
तुम टूट भी जाओ
तुम्हारा 'खून'* हारेगा नहीं।

*Lineage
For women who still face social evils

Rape. Yet again.

Rape. Yet again.

Ironically, most of the times the girl used to be put under scanner; what happened this time?
Girls are not supposed to be gregarious.. are supposed to underplay to avoid getting over noticed.

But, what could a five year old have possibly done to cause this heinous crime?!!!

I have been resisting myself to write about Delhi victim but admitting here that I never really prayed for her survival. According to me there was no life left for her. All I wished for her was less pain(physical & emotional). However I was pretty sure that this wouldn't had happened by her coming back to the same society. If the relief  had to come via no-more-breaths-to-bear, let it may. And it happened.

No, I am not talking about physical recovery of hers that is too overt to mention. Following such incidents, the emotional and social factors are far more important. Even if I believe the claims that she wanted to live and indeed was a brave heart to overcome emotional trauma, the social factor alone would have been too torturous to live a normal life.

I might sound discouraging here but speaking the bitter truth- that is how our society is.
Just imagine yourself crossing her on a street, even in the best of your intellect, intention and gesture you would look at her once with sympathy/pity. You just wont ignore her like another passerby! And that, my hypocrite society, will revive the pain and leave the cut bleeding once again.
Or, for example take another immensely followed social norm- Marriage. I am damn sure no man would be manly enough to marry her.

Now.. what is the solution?
Honestly speaking I don't know and practically speaking there is no thumb rule.

Probably a mixture of the following would do some betterment: A 'justified' justice, wisdom to react in dicey situations, improved public security and the most important and difficult part - educate the youth to be socially responsible, remain humane and respect women!!!


May someday we have a safer society!

वार

सबको वजह मिली है

हर गुनाह की खुद के, 

बेवजह, बेगुनाह भी 

कुछ यूँ ही जायेंगे |

सिलसिला -ए - वार*

ये कभी तो रुके,

इंसानियत सिखाने भी

क्या अब खुद,

ख़ुदा या भगवान आयेंगे ?। 

*attack

आज, एक दिन

किसी ने किसी को किया propose
किसी ने दिया किसी को red rose

किसी की तारीफ में बजी तालियाँ
कहीं आरती को सजी थालियाँ

किसी ने किसी का छोड़ दिया साथ
कहीं थामा गया एक-दूसरे का हाथ

किसी ने इस दुनिया में खोली आँखें
कहीं किसी ने ली अंतिम सांसें

ज़िन्दगी, आज
कुछ को मिली
कुछ ने जी ली
और कुछ खो बैठे


मेरा भी एक दिन, आज
कुछ हल्के-भारी
हिसाब-किताब से गुजरता रहा ।


*written during valentine week

WE.

क्या हुआ अरे जो नारी हूँ
आखिर तो कृति तुम्हारी हूँ ,
देना ही होगा वो प्रकाश
जिसकी मैं भी अधिकारी हूँ।

I came across this note of mine in a recent home visit. These lines were written some 10-12 years back when for once my coaching class was shifted to my home just to avoid a crazy stalker.

I felt like being punished without any fault of mine. Although soon enough, I realized that my safety had been way too important for my family to taking the psycho to task and setting some example for the society (You never know what could be the stalker's next move!).

Saddened to see how time hasn't changed itself when it comes to dealing with feminism of the female race.
Though I am glad that girls have started talking about it publicly and raising voice against it, back then this too used to be a taboo.

But the burning question remains- When will WE be able to walk freely and where?

Thank You All :)

10,000+ Blog Views !!!!

Some 2 years back when I found my space in blog world, I hadn't imagined in my wildest dream that people would actually come to my page and pay attention to my scribble(as it might look like to many out there) :)!
Today when I receive a comment on my posts or notice visitors' count growing , I feel contented that my writings must be making some sense to at least few of these visitors around the world( much to my surprise!!).

I feel privileged and deeply touched.


MANY THANKS & HAPPY BLOGGING :)
your comments are always welcome.

Nitya

सीख

इतनी कहाँ निकली है ज़िन्दगी
जितनी जीनी है अभी,
चलो अच्छा हुआ
कुछ सीख ही लिया।

COI

Circle of Influence... as we say it!

The circle is same with all its properties: the radius, diameter, parameter, area. Only the co-ordinates have been changed and hence the equation.
The points on plane which were near to center are far away now and those which were far have moved close. This position suits the circle better! However if you uproot a tree and plant it somewhere else it disturbs both the tree and the land originally around it.

To appreciate the change or condemn it?
To accept or resist it?
To celebrate the gains or regret the loss?

Whom to blame if at all?

The change was destined. It is the law of nature. The earth is rotating and so is everything associated to it. Nothing can be kept glued forever to its comfort zone.
Can we skip?
Even if we can, shouldn't we go ahead and face the challenges of this world?

Learning a lot these days.. need to try hard to have everything memorized .